This was my vow on New Year's Eve, and I am still managing to follow through.
I was giving myself permission to look and feel good when walking out the door, take care to do my physical therapy and voice therapy exercises, sleep well, maintain the best hygiene I have ever experienced, take care in what I am wearing, pack my lunch for work, stop eating out except on Friday nights, take my vitamins and medicine, sit back and breathe, and run. I changed being awake from 9am-3am to 6am-10pm. I was attempting to fall asleep in under 30 minutes from entering my bed, as opposed to the 3 hours of tossing and turning. I was giving myself time to focus on how to improve my well-being.*
Why wouldn't I do this for myself all along? I thought that if I took time out of my day to do this, I would lose precious time to get work done. Yes, this literally is the case. The more time I use to take care of myself, the less possible time I could use for work.
I have battled this in my head for quite some time. As a result, January 2013 was an interesting yet trying month. I would go back and forth saying "If I only stayed up one more hour I could get this much more work done." I would fight back saying that "I would be more rested going to sleep now and be more productive the next day."
It was hard making all of those changes virtually overnight. But here is what I noticed as January progressed:
1. People gave me more compliments and were more willing to carry a conversation with me. Strangers were more willing to smile, myself included. My boyfriend gave me compliments every day, which was way more frequent than before. This is not at the fault of others, but myself, for depriving my positive appearance and attitude.
2. I have more energy than before. Running, physical therapy, voice therapy, calming down at night, eating healthy, and feeling clean and refreshed revitalized me. It gave the day closure and significantly improved my ability to fall asleep. I used to stress about useless things and toss and turn for 3 hours. I surpassed my 30 minute goal and regularly fell asleep within 10 minutes. My eyelids were heavy due to being relaxed.
3. I am getting more work done. My job is the reason I was afraid to make all of these changes. I felt my performance would decrease because I was spending less time on my job. This was not the case. I was present while working. I was alert, able to think more creatively, remember more, and have a sense of clarity. I work smarter and more efficiently. I haven't fallen behind yet, and crossing my fingers that I don't as the term gets heavier.
4. When people ask how I am doing, I can honestly answer with "good." It isn't superficial anymore. I feel like I am doing everything I can to feel accomplished and successful. I believe success comes solely from happiness and I am doing everything I can to increase my potential on the happiness scale.
This was my Christmas gift to myself, and I can't send enough thank you letters to yours truly to express how much better I feel inside. Maintenance of this isn't easy either, but I plan to carry these lessons into all facets of my life. I think this will improve friendships and family relations. I think I will be a better employee and role model to others. Most importantly, I will be a better Kyle.**
Lesson learned: Do NOT sacrifice yourself for anything!
*Running was the easiest thing to add of course because it wasn't my choice to quit (hence physical therapy).
**I am cheesy.
